Go ahead and ugly cry - it's really ok

Tears are interesting things aren't they? Water leaking out of your eyes. Sometimes gently, sometimes in streams. Sometimes with laughter and smiles, and sometimes with heart ripping pain. It is something that everyone does - just some more easily than others. This blog is for those who struggle to cry - although anyone can read it :-)

What gives me the authority to take on such a subject? Probably that I have been one of those people for most of my life. Ask my family. Did I cry? Do I cry? Yes. Very often? No. Things that bring others to tears in joy or sorrow very rarely caused the same response in me. Sure I felt, but there was rarely a shedding of tears. But I will tell you, frequently when there were tears, it was a big, ugly cry. Maybe because it didn't happen all that often.

So is it ok to not cry? Am I promoting some "cry every day" idea? No. And I'm not even saying you have to cry. For the most part, my emotions are fairly even keel - although at times they do go haywire (ahhhh the joys of being female). But if not crying is part of your signature, I'd like to challenge you to think about why. It was part of mine, and God's been teaching me a few things....

Do you know why we cry? Did you know there were different kinds of tears? Did you know they are composed differently? - No, it's not just water dripping out of your eyeballs. I didn't but it fascinates me. So we have basal tears, reflex tears, and emotional tears.

Basal tears flow continuously over the eye to cleanse and lubricate the eye. Basal tears have a mucus layer that sits on the eye, a watery layer in the middle and an oily layer on top, to keep them from evaporating. So.... unless you have medical dry eye, you can no longer claim, "I never cry." Kinda weird to think about - we are actually crying almost all the time - it's healthy for the eyes.

Then there are the reflex tears. These happen when a rogue eyelash gets stuck to the eye or you chop up an onion. These help clear the eyes of irritants. The make up is pretty similar to the basal tears, except the water layer is larger and they have antibodies to fend off harmful organisms quickly. FYI - the onion irritant is the sulfur gas that is let off when you cut an onion (in case you were wondering).

And then there are the emotional tears. Emotional tears contain an enkephalin, an endorphin, and a natural pain killer. All things that help calm and soothe the body. Anyone ever feel like a good cry makes them feel better? Science supports that ya know. Emotional tears communicate feelings and create feelings in others. Unfortunately, this isn't always a good thing. Because they stimulate feelings in others, they can be used to be manipulative.

And maybe this is why you don't cry. You've been accused of being manipulative with your tears. Or maybe you don't cry because you heard, "quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about" one too many times. Perhaps it was that "big girls don't cry" or "be a man - suck it up, don't cry." And so it became easier not to cry. And heaven help us when we did - it HURT!! So one more reason not to cry. Too much pain - from multiple sources.

But you know what? Much like the eyes need tears to stay healthy, the heart needs tears to be cleansed and healed. The shortest verse in the Bible says, "Jesus wept." Tears must be important. But perhaps even more important is who we take them to.

Hebrews 5:7 "In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence." Jesus cried - can you imagine the garden before his crucifixion? I'm pretty sure there were tears there. But as he cried out to His Father - he was also able to say "not my will but yours be done."

It's ok to cry. But take it to the One who can heal. Take it to the One who will use the tears as a wash over the hurting, tender places of the heart. Let them flow and let God hold you through them.