Ok. I need to preface this with a piece of information. I am stubborn. I know some of you don't believe that, but it is one of my most endearing qualities :-/. Maybe not. And sometimes it is good to be stubborn, dig your heals in, and not let go until you reach the peak. What a view!
But sometimes stubborn is pride in disguise. And far too often my stubborn falls into this category. The most difficult part of this type of stubbornness is the pain it requires to learn life's lessons. I have a friend who frequently says, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours." I'm not sure why I seem to do things the hard way. Surely I would learn by now. My counselor once told me that it would be much less painful if I would learn to not be so stubborn (she meant prideful) and simply yield to the learning and growing process.
I say all of that to say this, I'm learning. And this time, I'm learning the power of thanksgiving. In a recent conversation with my friend she commented that when a particular event would come around in my life, she knew it was coming whether I had ever told her or not. She said my countenance changed about two days before and it really affected who I was and how I interacted. She was kindly telling me that I became a grouch and she really would rather not be around me unless I changed my attitude. I was definitely a downer. And who wants to be around that!! I will confess that I pretty much scoffed at her observation. When will I learn....
Anyway, this particular event came around again, and I approached it as I always do. Only this time I actually saw and heard myself. Ewww... dang it she was right. Here I am. Total Oscar the Grouch. I really don't even want to be around myself! But what's the fix? "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (I Thessalonians 5:18) P.S - wanna know God's will? Give thanks...
And this time, I chose to give thanks, and I don't think I was so green and grouchy this time. It was a little delayed, I did start out the grouch, but I didn't stay there. The situation did not change, but my attitude about it did, and that made all the difference.
I began to ask myself, why is thanksgiving so powerful? I have found in the very recent past that one of the best weapons I have against the lies of the devil is a simple "thank you." What is it about thanksgiving, about thankfulness that changes the heart? The situations may not change, but the attitude does.
Here are just a few ponderings that may help answer that.
1. A thankful heart cannot be a proud heart. Thankfulness is an attitude of humility. Thankfulness recognizes the generosity of the giver and focuses on the giver, not on self. A proud heart is that way because the focus is self. A thankful heart is focused outward toward others. Satan cannot stand humility. It is the exact opposite of all he is. Hearing thankfulness is hearing humility. He will leave.
2. A thankful heart remembers the good and forgets or forgives the bad. Have you ever been in an argument or frustrated with someone you love? Start being thankful for the good about them. It's hard to remain angry or frustrated when all you see is the positive. Satan wants nothing more than to cause division. It's hard to be divided when focusing on the strengths and positives of relationship.
3. A thankful heart has hope. Being thankful reminds us of all that has been but also reminds us of all that will be. Thanksgiving, regardless of the circumstances, acknowledges that God is good. It acknowledges that he gives good gifts, even if they appear as funny shapes sometimes. Hope scares the devil because it is a promise for tomorrow. He would much rather us believe all we have is today. Hope is the encouragement to continue forward, regardless of situation, relationship, or circumstance.
4. A thankful heart is consumed by grace. A thankful heart recognizes there is no greater gift than grace. A thankful heart recognizes how undeserving we are and yet still we receive. Grace saves us and grace frees us. Thankfulness recognizes grace and perhaps that is the biggest threat to Satan. As much as he cannot bear humility, grace is what undoes him. Perhaps that is why we "say grace." It is an overflow of thanksgiving - speaking the truth of grace.
Today, I am going to begin to embrace thanks. As I do, I embrace humility. I embrace forgiveness. I embrace hope. I embrace grace. I embrace the giver of all that is good - it is right to give thanks!
Saturday, November 18, 2017
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Choose Your Happy
It's just a number, right? I mean, it's just a count of the number of years I've been alive. And most days, I could easily agree, yes. Forty is just a number. But there are times....
Growing up, 40 seemed so old to me! I mean, at 40 you were almost ancient. Approaching that number, I find that truthfully, I've only completed 2/5 of my life - 40%. I'm not even to the half way point yet! But I remember too the dreams I had as a young child of what my life would be like. I remember talking with my friends about who we would marry, how many children we would have, what careers we would have, and how close we would live to each other. Can I be honest with you? Not one single dream has come to pass. None of them.
I am getting ready to change to my fourth decade and am still single. I have no children. Right now I don't even have a pet!! I do have a good job, although it wasn't what I dreamed about as a child. And my friend circle has drastically changed. By now, I honestly thought I'd be married with 3-4 children (4 if truth be told so there wouldn't be a middle child), living in the country in a nice house with a couple of pets. I would have the option to work or not work - my husband and family would be good either way. I thought I'd be thin, trim, and tanned. Ok - maybe that's a stretch, but at least smaller than what I am now.
There are days when those dreams come to mind and I wonder why they never came to be. I mean, I think I'd be a great wife and mom. I think I have a lot of love and support to offer, so why no husband or kids to give it to? I see kids who are abused and mistreated and wonder why those parents get them and I don't - when I would love and protect them. It is so easy to look at this life and think, "This isn't how it is supposed to be." And if that's all I see, then, yeah, it's pretty crappy...
John Piper is perhaps one of my very favorite authors and preachers. I came across a quote of his that has helped me put things into perspective. "Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have."
There was nothing wrong about the dreams of that little girl. Sure, some of them were probably the result of expectations of society to be and do certain things, but they were good dreams. And we need to dream. But what happens when what you expected isn't what is? (Please excuse the grammar.) I think Piper has good advice. It's ok to weep over what you hoped for, what you expected. However, "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." (Ps 30:5)
So morning has come. It is time to wash my face and embrace the life I do have. And to dig into the deepest parts of my heart, I can honestly say the life I do have is far beyond any life I could have ever dreamed of. Yes, I'm about to be 40 and I'm still single. And yes, I do have a lot of love and support to offer. But because I am single, I am free to give it to multiple people and in multiple ways. There are lots of amazing people in my life that I can love on and support because I am single. If I had a husband, it would be much more difficult. And I am also free to receive love - from friends, from family, but most importantly from my God. I have found that in my singleness, He pursues my heart and romances me in ways no human man ever could. For He created me. He does know what makes me smile and what makes me cry. To him I am precious, lovely, and desirable. And nothing I ever do will change how He views me. He calls me his masterpiece. Ok, yeah.... I can get used to that :-)
I don't have kids (of my own) but I have been blessed with some of the most amazing children in my life. And because they aren't mine, I get the joy of taking them to Toy's R Us for a "Pick a toy" date, just because. Or going to the park, or Andy's or the library or... and we have a wonderful time and my heart is full and happy (and I think they like it too). Now to the parents of these children... at 40 I've decided to stop apologizing for those things that make my heart happy. So occasionally we are going to Toys R Us and they and I will all be happy. So please just let us be happy :-)
You know, I picked the career I have when I was in college. I had planned for quite some time to be a doctor, but in the end decided to go to pharmacy school. I'm really glad I didn't become a doctor. I work with the best, and I know I could never do that job. But you know what? I've started to wonder if there is more than pharmacy. I work with too many people who are heart sick and there is no pill to cure that. I was forced to look at my own heart and found it hurting and in need of something no pill can provide. And so, last fall, I decided to do something different. I decided to go back to school to learn how to to help those who are heart sick. I enrolled in college (once again) to get a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I'm still trying to figure it all out, but it's time to take this step. I haven't left the pharmacy and am still not sure what the future holds in either realm, I just know it's time for me to learn how to help those who have pain no pill can heal. And again, something that would be hard to do at this stage with a husband and family.
You know, my life is no where near what I thought it would be when I was a young girl. And that's actually a good thing. My Gram told me once when we were eating together that life was too short to not be happy. Sometimes though, we have to choose happy. And so, washing my face, I choose to embrace my happy and all that will come. So much of the first 40 years I lived in survival and meeting expectations. I still have at least 60% of my life left - I plan to live it embracing happy, loving and being loved, spoiling kids, and helping people heal in their most tender spots. My God planted a dream bigger than any I could come up with on my own and by embracing His dream, I choose happy.
Growing up, 40 seemed so old to me! I mean, at 40 you were almost ancient. Approaching that number, I find that truthfully, I've only completed 2/5 of my life - 40%. I'm not even to the half way point yet! But I remember too the dreams I had as a young child of what my life would be like. I remember talking with my friends about who we would marry, how many children we would have, what careers we would have, and how close we would live to each other. Can I be honest with you? Not one single dream has come to pass. None of them.
I am getting ready to change to my fourth decade and am still single. I have no children. Right now I don't even have a pet!! I do have a good job, although it wasn't what I dreamed about as a child. And my friend circle has drastically changed. By now, I honestly thought I'd be married with 3-4 children (4 if truth be told so there wouldn't be a middle child), living in the country in a nice house with a couple of pets. I would have the option to work or not work - my husband and family would be good either way. I thought I'd be thin, trim, and tanned. Ok - maybe that's a stretch, but at least smaller than what I am now.
There are days when those dreams come to mind and I wonder why they never came to be. I mean, I think I'd be a great wife and mom. I think I have a lot of love and support to offer, so why no husband or kids to give it to? I see kids who are abused and mistreated and wonder why those parents get them and I don't - when I would love and protect them. It is so easy to look at this life and think, "This isn't how it is supposed to be." And if that's all I see, then, yeah, it's pretty crappy...
John Piper is perhaps one of my very favorite authors and preachers. I came across a quote of his that has helped me put things into perspective. "Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have."
There was nothing wrong about the dreams of that little girl. Sure, some of them were probably the result of expectations of society to be and do certain things, but they were good dreams. And we need to dream. But what happens when what you expected isn't what is? (Please excuse the grammar.) I think Piper has good advice. It's ok to weep over what you hoped for, what you expected. However, "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." (Ps 30:5)
So morning has come. It is time to wash my face and embrace the life I do have. And to dig into the deepest parts of my heart, I can honestly say the life I do have is far beyond any life I could have ever dreamed of. Yes, I'm about to be 40 and I'm still single. And yes, I do have a lot of love and support to offer. But because I am single, I am free to give it to multiple people and in multiple ways. There are lots of amazing people in my life that I can love on and support because I am single. If I had a husband, it would be much more difficult. And I am also free to receive love - from friends, from family, but most importantly from my God. I have found that in my singleness, He pursues my heart and romances me in ways no human man ever could. For He created me. He does know what makes me smile and what makes me cry. To him I am precious, lovely, and desirable. And nothing I ever do will change how He views me. He calls me his masterpiece. Ok, yeah.... I can get used to that :-)
I don't have kids (of my own) but I have been blessed with some of the most amazing children in my life. And because they aren't mine, I get the joy of taking them to Toy's R Us for a "Pick a toy" date, just because. Or going to the park, or Andy's or the library or... and we have a wonderful time and my heart is full and happy (and I think they like it too). Now to the parents of these children... at 40 I've decided to stop apologizing for those things that make my heart happy. So occasionally we are going to Toys R Us and they and I will all be happy. So please just let us be happy :-)
You know, I picked the career I have when I was in college. I had planned for quite some time to be a doctor, but in the end decided to go to pharmacy school. I'm really glad I didn't become a doctor. I work with the best, and I know I could never do that job. But you know what? I've started to wonder if there is more than pharmacy. I work with too many people who are heart sick and there is no pill to cure that. I was forced to look at my own heart and found it hurting and in need of something no pill can provide. And so, last fall, I decided to do something different. I decided to go back to school to learn how to to help those who are heart sick. I enrolled in college (once again) to get a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I'm still trying to figure it all out, but it's time to take this step. I haven't left the pharmacy and am still not sure what the future holds in either realm, I just know it's time for me to learn how to help those who have pain no pill can heal. And again, something that would be hard to do at this stage with a husband and family.
You know, my life is no where near what I thought it would be when I was a young girl. And that's actually a good thing. My Gram told me once when we were eating together that life was too short to not be happy. Sometimes though, we have to choose happy. And so, washing my face, I choose to embrace my happy and all that will come. So much of the first 40 years I lived in survival and meeting expectations. I still have at least 60% of my life left - I plan to live it embracing happy, loving and being loved, spoiling kids, and helping people heal in their most tender spots. My God planted a dream bigger than any I could come up with on my own and by embracing His dream, I choose happy.
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