I debated over the title - but as this is a pretty personal blog - I guess it deserves a pretty personal title. But I do pose that question to each person reading this - ask yourself, "What Am I Worth?" Do you know? Bear with me, this is perhaps one of the biggest revelations I've received in awhile, but it needs a little background. Let me start by saying this, God's timing is always perfect. We may not always "get it" but He always has His reasons.
A couple of Sundays ago at church, the message was from John 5 about the guy at the pool who Jesus healed. I think perhaps one of the craziest questions - in my humble opinion - that Jesus ever asked is in these verses. Vs 6 (talking to a guy who had been an invalid for 38 years): "When Jesus saw him lying there and knew he had already been there a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be healed'?" Seriously?! What was the guy gonna say . . . "Naw, I'm fine just laying here on my mat, but thanks for asking." I mean, come on. So why did Jesus ask the question? Think about this. While he was lying on the mat, he had people to help meet his needs. People did for him because he couldn't do for himself. But what if he were well? What if he were whole? There would be responsibility on him - to provide for himself. To help others. Most importantly, to proclaim what Jesus had done. I think Jesus was asking if he was willing to take on that responsibility. What was his healing worth?
So here's the deal. Personally, what am I worth? Ask yourself if you really want to know - If you really want to know, keep reading; but remember knowing your worth is going to come with responsibility. "Do you want to be healed?" For me, the same question, "Do you want to know what you're worth?" While Jesus gave the invalid physical freedom, knowing what you're worth brings spiritual freedom. Last chance to turn back . . .
So was talking with Tamra yesterday and the topic of worth came up. The question she posed: Where does your worth come from? Don't skip ahead or give the Sunday school answer. Walk with me here.
All of us fall into the trap of tying our worth into people. "Well, I don't care what others think of me?" Really? Well, aren't you a people too? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said, "I'm looking old or fat or ugly or ..." or even making it a positive, "I'm looking good, lost some weight, those glasses are sweet!" Further making the case that we are part of the people too - how do you define yourself? As a parent, by your job, as a child, as a friend . . . and if you "fail" in how you define yourself, then you find yourself feeling as thought you have less worth.
So either it's from external people (parents, friends, teachers, siblings, co-workers and this list could go on) who tell us how good or bad we are or from internal people (me, myself and I), we often find our worth based on what people (including ourselves) tell us we are worth. What is the flaw in this? Guess what?? PEOPLE CAN LIE! People can tear us down and hurt us or they can feed us compliment on compliment and stroke our ego (we do it to ourselves as well). But in either direction, if this is where I find my worth, I'm determining who I am based on a faulty, shifting system. Good today, bad tomorrow - up and down until the roller coaster just makes you want to puke! Don't know about you, but I'm ready to get off that ride!!
So back to the question: Where does my worth come from? What is the truth? If people lie, how can I know what is true about me? How can I know my worth? Well, who cannot lie? Now, yes, you can give the Sunday school answer - God. God cannot lie or even more amazing, will not change His mind. If I want a solid foundation for my worth, it needs to be based in and on what God says I'm worth. So what does God say and think I'm worth? What was shared with me, I want to share with you because to even begin to grasp the edge of this - knowing your worth brings freedom. You may have to fight some days to hang on to that truth - but it is truth. Remember, God cannot lie or change His mind. Do you want to know?
I'd never thought of it this way before, but God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit have all declared my worth.
God the Father: "Carrie Beth, you are worth my Son." Ok, sure. Got that. But do you? If you are a parent, pick a child. If you don't have kids, think of one in your life who is special. I'm in front of a firing squad. They are going to kill me. Unless . . . you are told they will spare me if you put that child up there instead. Your son, your daughter, your niece or nephew or whomever you love so much. Would you give them up for me? Anybody? And I'm not even saying you're giving up that child to save a bunch of people. It is one for one. That child for me. Any takers? Didn't think so. But God thought so. God thought I was worth His son. His ONLY son. Not to be down on me - but really? God thought I was worth His son. And yeah, even if I was the only one, I was worth His son. Wow!! But there's more. . .
God the Son: "Carrie Beth, you are worth my life." That child is gone. Now it's you and me. Would you give up your life for me? Would you take my place in front of that firing squad? It might be a little easier to say, "sure" because we all have a tendency to think we are that self-sacrificial. But would you really? If you could see every sin, every hateful part of me, every short-coming, every fault - would you see all that and still take my bullet? Jesus could and did see all that and he still let them pound those nails through his hands and feet. He still let them rip the flesh on his back and drive that crown of thorns into his head. He saw all of that yuck and still took my sin. He still took my punishment. He still died my death. He didn't wait til I cleaned up my act. He didn't wait until I "deserved" his life. While I was still a sinner . . . Oh my. Wait. There's still more . . .
God the Holy Spirit: "Carrie Beth, you are worth my home in heaven." Huh? Think about it. When Jesus left and went back to heaven, what promise was given? That He would send a comforter - the Holy Spirit. Hang tight - this is pretty cool. When we become Christians, we receive the Holy Spirit, right? He is our seal, our guarantee. So God the Holy Spirit is with us every day. Here. On earth. With me. It's like trading the mansion for the garbage can. Now I don't know about you, but when I think about what I know about heaven as well as what I imagine heaven to be like - the Holy Spirit gave that up for me - to be with me every day. No matter what or where I am and even now I still take him into the muck of every day. What am I worth? I'm worth God the Holy Spirit coming to earth as my comforter and giving up all the comfort of heaven.
Wow. The Father says I'm worth His son. The Son says I'm worth His life. The Spirit says I'm worth His home. And remember? GOD CANNOT LIE OR CHANGE HIS MIND.
Am I worthy? Absolutely not. But my worth isn't based on me, on who I am or anything I've done. My worth isn't based on what you think of me. The truth of my worth is in the solid foundation that God said I was worth everything and so He did it all. He gave it all. He gave me His worth. I did nothing. I can do nothing. It has been done. "IT IS FINISHED." And that is what I'm worth. And you know what? So are you!!
WOW.
